Monday, February 17, 2014


What's really hurt is.....
to know that you are the one who has frustrated 
and make it's harder for your loved ones. 
It's really heartbreaking. 
It feels like you are a loser, 
nothing that you can do better..
even for someone you love.
 It's really pain inside..
yet, there's nothing I can do.  

O Allah, 
please help me..
please 
give me the strength to get through this..
to do my best..
For some reasons, I'm really sure..
that this is the best plan
that You have for me..
yet, I need Your help...
always need Your help... 
please guide me...
and always makes my heart...
to feel just enough with all of Your blessings...

May Allah ease everything for us...

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Saturday, February 15, 2014


I'm just an ordinary person..
I also have feelings...
Although I always paste a smile on my face...
and act strong, like it's nothing big...
but, I do hurt... 
easily get hurt...
and sometimes, I just couldn't take the pain..

Well I know, for all these while...I always tolerate...
If I've been hurt, I just remain silence..
and keep on rationalize myself...
convince myself that it's me who thinks too much...
keep on convincing myself that I shouldn't be so negative..
that I should understand others situation and true intention...
Set aside my feelings....

I've been living on understanding others...
and I'm happy to do that..
really happy that I can understand them...
help them, not making it hard for them...
Try to ease everything as far as I could...

But, they forget...
Yet, me, myself sometimes forget..
That I'm also an ordinary person..
I couldn't take it in all the time....
Sometimes I also need to be cared of...
and sometimes, I'm tired...
My feelings also need to be noticed....

Although I'm sure,I'll rationalize myself later...
and be okay soon...
as I forgive easily...
but for now, I just want to take it all out...

This person, not trying to understand me..
the hardships I've gone through for me to do that..
just say everything, like I've done nothing...
how hard I've tried..
just blurt out anything without thinking what I've felt...
make me feels like I'm not being accepted, for who I am... 

For this another person, I always be the last choice...
If the number one person is not around...
then...and only then, I'll be someone to turn to..
to hear all the sadness and problems...

This another person, I really want to be friends..
Really want to have a good relationship...
but, keeps on feeling jealous to me...
keeps on thinking that everything is perfect and easy for me..
like I have more....
Be with me only whenever feel like to...
broken promises for many times...
  
I just need to take a break from these persons...
I need to be alone, with no disturb...
I'm not sure, if I'll be the same for them..
or just changed...
so, if this is the last...
there's something I want to say to these persons...

thank you for making me feels like this..
thanks to you guys, I've learned lessons...
learn to care more of others feeling...
that I shouldn't do that to anyone else...
as I've tasted the heartache..
Sincerely...
I hope you'll live happily...
and I do hope..
that someday you guys realize...
that what you've done have hurt others...
hope that you'll be more understanding...
for your own good in this life


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